Friday, September 20, 2013

What Not To Do

Google “writing forums” and set up profiles at as many of these as you can. Don’t worry if the focus is on different genres from yours –you’re giving them a chance to broaden their tastes,  the way you do when you send your collection of stories, say, to publishers who do not publish story collections.
·        See where they ask for “occupation” in your profile?  They WANT you to promote yourself, so lie a little. Your sister, for one, really DOES agree that your three published poems and vanity press novel make you officially well-published both online and in print.
·        After you’ve filled out your profile, it’s time to join a discussion. Break in on any one well underway, and introduce yourself.  Among the people who accuse you of hijacking the thread there will be one or two who welcome you. Get their email addresses and immediately try to sell them your book.
·        Set up your social media accounts, and create as many fan pages for you and your characters as Facebook will allow. Seek out friends and friends of friends for all of these accounts and send your updates to your new fans’ email addresses –they might miss something important if your messages only appear on their newsfeeds.
·         Create a newsletter. Fill it with photos of your cat and your “World’s Best Writer” mug.  Address your words of wisdom to “All My Fans” in the newsletter –it saves time, and who can remember all those names anyway?
·        Manipulate your book’s sales rank on Amazon by clicking repeatedly on your cover and tagging your book using accounts you opened just for this purpose. While you’re at it, write some reviews for your book. It’s good writing practice, using different personae.
·        Send a blast email and demand that your “fans” follow your lead with the clicking and the tagging and the reviewing. Someone’s bound to and something’s better than nothing, isn’t it? Isn’t it?

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